


clockwork universe

by vype



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-08
Updated: 2013-08-08
Packaged: 2017-12-22 20:05:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/917508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vype/pseuds/vype
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Almost from birth, Bertholdt is trained to destroy humanity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	clockwork universe

**Author's Note:**

> Kink meme prompt: http://snkkink.dreamwidth.org/2124.html?thread=2245196#cmt2245196

Bertholdt is very aware of the two pairs of eyes that watch him play. The eyes are always there, they have always been there. He can't really comprehend a life without those eyes following his every action, but he is told that it will come eventually.

But for now, he and Reiner and Berrik are seven years old, and they are playing.

This is one of the only games that they are allowed to play: 

Berrik will take mounds of dirt and sculpt hills, mounds, whatever he can messily put together after a while. 

And then, Bertholdt and Reiner must sneak around the village and steal little bits of sugar, or maybe a bit of honey- whatever sweet things they can find. They must be quick and proficient in sneaking around so as not to be caught- after the first two failed attempts, Bertholdt has gotten much better and blending into the surroundings, waiting in the background for the perfect moments to sneak a bit of a neighbor's cake, some crumbs that aren't easily noticed.

Reiner is always the one to choose who they'll steal from. Bertholdt goes along with whatever he says- when he does this, sometimes those brown eyes will gleam with approval. He wants that approval.

So after they steal the bait, they will spend the next few days luring ants into the mound. If it doesn't work, Berrik hunts around for the queen and places her into the mound. A week, or two, and then the colony forms. Bertholdt and Reiner watch them every day, slowly looking over the tunnels being formed, memorizing the routes that the ants will take in and out of their new home.

(Away from the ears and eyes of his parents, Reiner sometimes gives names to particularly distinctive ants. The fastest one, the largest one, the red one; Reiner has names for them all. Sometimes, he even helps the ants; moving pebbles out of their way, 'accidentally' dropping parts of his lunch near the mound, small things like that. Bertholdt doesn't want Reiner to be in trouble with his parents, so he says nothing.)

And then, once the colony is there, Bertholdt kicks down the mound. Stamps on it, again and again. Sometimes Reiner is allowed to help, sometimes not. Afterwards, they will watch the destruction- the collapsed remnants of tunnels, a few dead ants scattered around, freshly turned dirt that no longer resembles much of anything. A mess.The first time they played this game, Bertholdt quietly mumbled apologies to the ants for destroying their home. The eyes didn't look at him for days, so now Bertholdt doesn't bother with wasting his breath.

After a few times, Bertholdt starts to specifically step on the fleeing ants, crushing them beneath his feet. His mother had frowned, almost like she wanted to protest, but his father smiled proudly like he had the greatest son in the world.

-

During mealtimes, his parents sit at the table throughout. Bertholdt is the one who prepares everything at the table, according to their instructions.

Sometimes the orders are mundane: "Get the tablecloth," his mother tells him. He does so.

Sometimes they are strange: "Fetch six mugs," his father says. "Place them in a circle in the center of the table." He does so.

(The first time this order is given, he asks, "Why? There's only three of us." His parents don't speak to him for the next four days. Bertholdt doesn't ask them any more questions.)

Sometimes, they are (though he is not one to judge) cruel: "You don't get to eat any meat," his mother tells him, even though their dinner for that day is only meat. Her voice has the slightest quaver in it, just a tiny bit. Bertholdt doesn't protest, only obeys. He sits at the table and drinks water from his mug, and watches his parents eat.

-

"You steal some from Berrik's mom," Reiner says, eyeing the leftovers that she has left in the window.

"Don't stop," his father says, sitting down on a chair and watching his only child slice himself with a hunting knife over and over and over again.

"Destroy the humans," his mother says, placing a pack in his hands and watching her only child leave home forever.

"Run!" Berrik yells, trying to struggle free from a titan's grip.

He obeys all of them.

-

Bertholdt is drifting in his thoughts, only half-aware of the crowd of tiny people far below his vision. He is suspended in an odd warmth, feeling his right hand wrapped tight in fleshy strings, and yet also feeling stone crumble in his grip. 

'Strange,' he thinks. He can hear everyone's voices. His parents', Reiner's, Berrik's...

He wonders what his own voice sounds like.

...

He listens harder.

...

He hears nothing.

He turns his gaze downwards, distantly observing. Tiny dots scurrying around, weaving in and out of passageways. What would Reiner have named these ones? _'Oh well,'_ he thinks. _'It's time to play, anyway.'_

He kicks.


End file.
